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Have A Happy Marriage

Smart Choices to Optimize Your Chances for Marital Happiness Well known phrases such as “You are the master of your own destiny” and “What ye sow, that shall ye reap” are not always popular in today's society. With television shows such as “Jerry Springer” and “Rikki Lake” espousing a “victim mentality” and people blaming their unhappiness, criminal activity and worse on an imperfect childhood, personal accountability doesn't always sell well. And yet, in our quiet more reflective moments, many of us recognize that that we pretty much get what we give and that the harder we work at something the more likely we are to succeed. With that truth in mind, here are some tried and true practices that will help to optimize your marital happiness. First and foremost, choose smart. Regard marriage as a permanent state and make it a matter of prayerful thought and consideration. Listen to what those who love you and know you best are saying. Take the time to really communicate with your potential spouse to see if you are on the same page in such important matters as how to spend money, how to save money, financial priorities and general money management. Are your levels of education and long-term financial objectives and goals similar? Is your potential spouse already in debt or do they regularly save a part of their earnings? Do they have a good credit record or are they already carrying financial burdens that you may eventually inherit? Recognize that there is a big difference between necessary student loans or a home mortgage and credit card debt for new clothes, furniture, vacations or other unnecessary expenditures! This is also a good time to evaluate your own financial behaviors and whether or not they need improving. Along similar lines, observe your prospective spouse in their interactions with others. How do they get along with their co-workers? With their family members and friends? Do they like people and do people like them? How do they treat you when you are with others? And when it is just the two of you? In the best of relationships spouses will see and bring out the very best in one another. They will encourage each other and make each want to be their very best, while supporting one another in the lows that come into every person's life. Does your partner build you up and make you feel good? Do you do the same? Recognize what is important to you, what values you cherish and make sure that you and your spouse-to-be have similar ideals. Talk about whether or not attendance at a church or place of worship is something that you want to have as part of your future family life. If so, where would the both of you be comfortable together? Also talk about children and whether or not you want to have them. Then talk about when, how many and whether or not one of you wants to stay at home to raise them. Another very important part of most marriages is the sexual relationship. See if you have similar ideas as far as how important it is to each of you and how often you think is often enough! Find out now rather than later how much common ground the two of you share, or if your future life looks like it'll be one of constant negotiations and compromises. Even the “little things” can be important in a long term marital relationship. Are there things that you enjoy doing together? Do you have similar standards for what “a clean house” means? Do both of you like to watch a lot of television? Eat out a lot? How much entertaining do each of you like to do? Do you have similar tastes as far as styles of homes that you like, types of furniture you want and whether or not traveling is something that you love or hate? While none of these things are essential in achieving marital happiness, too many differences can create discord. If there are lots of “little differences”, how do you handle them now? Does one partner do most of the compromising or is there adequate give and take? Be on the look-out for and recognize trouble signs. If there are drinking or substance abuse problems now, marriage is not going to change them. Has there been unfaithfulness in your relationship? Has this been a pattern of behavior for one of you? Any verbal, physical or emotional abuse should serve as a red flag. Marriage is NOT going to change these destructive behaviors regardless of what your potential spouse might be saying. In these cases, it is wise to seek counseling and help, and not enter into marriage with someone who isn't good for you. A good marriage requires unselfishness and putting the needs of someone else before your own. Honest, loving communication and knowing when to say nothing are essential in a truly happy marriage. With choosing who you marry being perhaps the most important decision you will ever make, be smart about it. Use your head and heart and take the time needed to make a decision that will bring lasting happiness. Listen to what your family or friends are telling you. Listen to your conscience and pray about it.

Article Source: http://www.articleresourceindex.com

The author manages a company that sells Austin TX Real Estate.

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